Stressed...to say the least!

Well, Happy December everyone!  Can you believe another year has almost passed us by?  Crazy!  Well as you know...I just turned 36 years old..I've actually had a really hard time with it!  I woke up that morning, and wondered...what now?  What will my life bring me...so far no kids...and I have to admit...I haven't had the happiest of marriages.  So...what's next?  It's a scary question if you think deeply about it!
So, Jeff and I went home for Thanksgiving...home being the great state of Texas of course!  It was a great visit!  Granny cooked all of my favorites and the weather was cold and crisp!  I do miss the colder weather.  We did alot of traveling on this trip.
Friday night I met up with some of my high school friends I haven't seen in years...that was a great feeling.  I almost felt "at home" again.  We had alot to catch up on so I really enjoyed it.
I went to see my Mamaw that morning...not so much fun.  As soon as I got there..of course she started going on and on about my weight.  Some things never change!  I started crying and was ready to go immediately!
I have a really hard time leaving my family.  I'm always in tears when I leave, then it takes me several days to get over it.  I hate I'm missing out on my neice's life...she doesn't even know who I am.  Sad.  I guess things do happen for a reason...and that's why I'm in florida.  God has me here for a reason...I'm just not sure what it is yet.....
There are big changes coming at work.  I just found our that my boss wants me to work 4 days a week now instead of 3.  This is a very hard thing for me because I have a young step daughter at home and a new husband.  I feel like i'm totally out of the loop already...4 days will only make it worse.  I'm also not real sure how I can juggle alll my work demands...such as meetings galore, working on the schedule and 4 days a week and pursue my master's degree.  I started thinking about it and got really scared.  I don't think I can take anymore stress right now.  If I fail, I have to pay back $10K and that's not going to happen.  I think I need to hold off and just see what work brings my way.  I hate to turn down "free" tuition, but I also have to think about my family.  I just pray I'm making the right decision.
Well..enough for now!
Peace!
Holley   

I owe it all to you...

Sometimes in life we forget to enjoy the small things.....So today I am going to list the things that I feel I am truly blessed to have....I owe it all to you....God!
1.  A loving husband

2.  A loving family...who constantly prays over me.

3.  A loving step-daughter...the only child I may ever have.

4.  A beautiful home...I love so much!

5.  An awesome pool and patio which I have learned to love to sit on and enjoy the rain.

6.  Two beautiful baby dogs that love me beyond measure.

7.  A great job...that after 12 years I still LOVE!

8.  A dependable car to get to work and back in.

9.  A healthy heart and body.

10.  Plenty of food to eat...where some are starving..

11.  An air conditioner to keep me cool when it's hot and a heater to keep me warm when it's cold.

12.  True friends....which are few and far between.

13.  Clothes galore

14.  Plenty of money to provide me and my family whatever we need.

15.  Rain

16.  Sun

17.  Ocean

18.  Stars

19.  A beautiful Life

20.  And most importantly....GOD!  For without him...I would have none of these!  Sometimes you just need to thank him!  We take so much of in our lives for granted!  Thank you!

Sometimes you just need to be positive about some things.  I feel like my life has been truly blessed.  I came from 2 wonderful parents...who treated me like a queen, never divorced even in the hard times, and gave me everything I have ever wanted.  My family prays for me constantly...and believe me...it's helped tremendously!  My life has always been pretty easy...thank you!
Positively!

Holley Ann 

Blessed Beyond Measure!!!

Hello all!  I was sitting here at work thinking of how I'm usually writing about negative stuff.  Ash said all I do is gripe about things...so hold on to your seat...this blog is going to be all positive!
Let's look on the bright side...Florida is a beautiful place to live.  Who else is 10 minutes from the ocean??  Another good thing about Florida is that is is always green.  For the most part the weather here is great!  Then probably one of the best things about Florida is...Disneyland.  Even though I haven't been yet, a lot of people really love that place.  I went to a wedding about two weeks ago there and it was really cool.  Everything was Disney themed.  They brought the bride in on a horse and carriage.  All the music was Disney and the best part was Mickey and Donald showed up at the reception.  It was a beautiful wedding!  Congrats to Adam and Jackie!!
Although I don't have many friends in Florida...I have met a really great friend here named Ash.  We are 10 years apart, nothing alike, but I feel we are really great friends.  She is laid back..I'm uptight...She is Liberal...I'm conservative...She is skinny...I am fat....She is simple..I am complex...You name it and we are opposite.  I guess opposites really do attract! 
My husband and I now have a really beautiful home.  I absolutely love it.  It is a 5/3/3 with an enormous pool that I so love!  The house looks great with all of our decor in it...and it just feels like home!  Thank you lord for this blessing.  It is everything a girl could ask for!
Let's not forget the most important reason to love Florida...My handsome husband.  If it wasn't for him, I would have never gotten to experience life in Florida.  He is my best friend and I love him so much.  We may not always see eye to eye...but we love each other beyond measure!
I have wonderful parents that would give me anything I could ever want.  Without them..I wouldn't be the woman I am today.  Thank you for everything you taught me through the years.  I hope I make you proud!
These are just a few reasons I feel I am blessed beyond measure!
Goodbye for now!
Holley Ann

Moving is no fun!

Well, as you know...we've been moving for over a week now.  No fun at all.  We are finally all settled in.  Yeah!  It hasn't been without some difficulty though.  Jeff has broken the pool twice...found out the salt water converter has been taken off...it's now a chlorine pool....Roxy decided to chew up the new carpet on my bottom stairs....you name it...it's happened!  On a postive note...my house is absolutely beautiful and has a wonderful pool!  Love it!
I've been really depressed today.  I took my parents back to the airport yesterday and I feel so lonely again.  They looked at houses while they were here..guess they have de cided they don't want to move here.  I'm so sad..but I'm not pushing it because I'm not really sure they would like it here.  I always feel sad when they leave.  I just wish we were a little closer....I've been crying alot today....It will get better...so i'm trying to stay positive.
Our visit wasn't one of the best I've ever had.  Between the stress of moving and my husband who is less than friendly...I'm not sure they will ever come back.  I almost felt as uncomfortable as I did when I was married to the last ass hole.  Why can't people be nice to the most important people in my life?  It hurts so bad that I can't have decent visits with my family.  I just don't know what to do...but something has got to change.  This may be another reason I have been crying all day.
Well, guess there has been alot of changes at work.  Crystal is now full time at st lucie west...and I am the one and only master charge therapist.  I guess the surveys were NOT good and something had to be done.  I'm not sure people will ever be totally happy.  I told Karen that people hated floating to all of the hospitals and when she called them in to the office...only once person admitted that they did not like floating.  Maybe I shouldn't do that again...now I look like a liar.  Oh well...I tried.
Well, back to work tonight and I don't feel rested at all.  Got to make some $$$ for my new house.  Maybe this will take my mind off of things. 
I've got to have positive thoughts...because right now I'm really sad.
That's all for now....
Holley Ann 

Will you marry me????

Well, today was a really sad day for some of our friends.  Jimmy and Jen have been dating over a year now.  They have had many ups and downs..mainly Jimmy's fault.  Jimmy is a guy who always guards his heart, because he is afraid of getting hurt.  Well, in the last two weeks, Jimmy has realized what he and Jen had together.  So, he put it all on the line.....Little did we know, it would come back to slap him in the face.

So the story goes...Jimmy wrote Jen a promise not with several things that he would change.  It was a great letter, and everything she has always wanted.  He promised her the world...well guess sometimes the world is just not enough.

Last night Jeff, Jimmy and I attended Jackie and Adam's wedding at Disney.  Jen was supposed to go, but decided she better not...she thought it was a bad idea.  So we went..just us three.  Jimmy's was so upset, he could hardly enjoy himself.  During the wedding, he kept saying, "I can't wait to get married."  I couldn't believe those words were coming from his mouth!  Amazing...maybe he really is a changed man!

Well, we got up this morning, ate breakfast and back home we came.  All the way we talked about Jen and Jimmy's relationship.  He told us that he had plans to marry her, but he needed to find the right place to propose.  So, Jeff and I said, "Are you sure Jen is the one you want to spend the rest of your life with?"  He said he loved her and she was the one.  So, I got the bright idea of saying, "Then why not propose now?"  That would be the straw that broke the camel's back!

We went to Littman Jewelers in the mall and found the perfect ring for Jen.  Absolutely georgeous!  The lady wrapped it up and away we went.  So we dropped him off to go propose. 

What happens next really breaks my heart!  Jimmy calls and basically tells us she said no.  He was devastated!  Then Jen called me crying asking why did we let him do that?  I told her everything and told her she really needed to think about the decision she just made.  This is what she has always wanted and now she's just going to throw it away???  Did she ever really love him the way she said she did?  I have to wonder?

Well, needless to say I'm heart broken for him.  He will never put himself out there again like he did today.  I'm proud of him for letting his guard down...but so sad it didn't work out for him!

I'm just praying that she comes to her senses and they get back together!

I feel like I'm losing a great friend....so sad!

Holley Ann  

Friends in Low Places...

Well, as I've probably blogged about a million times is that my Texas girls are coming to visit the third weekend in August.  I got news today that they would not be coming....  so sad!!  I guess my friend Karen had back surgery and is bad pain , Frances' husbands work was cut in 1/2 and LaShonda's work has been cut in 1/2.  I'm so very sad, but understand!  We are def in a recession.  They are going to try to reschedule in October.  That will be exactly 2 years since they came for our wedding.  So if I go to the airport....there will be an empy plane.....

It very lonely here in Florida...My friends are in the Dallas/Fort Worth, my parents in Amarillo and my grannies are in New Mexico.  Sometimes I get really scared...what if something happened to Jeff...what would I do?  I would have to probably move back to Texas, but I have a daughter that I'm responsible for now.  Would she want to stay in the only place she's ever known????  Or would she be open to moving to Texas?  It's a scary thought, but it's one that crosses my mind often.  Am I the only one that feels so distant from my family and friends??

 

I feel lost in a strange place...I still don't know anyone..and everyone here is different than my friends back home.  I just need time with my girls...and it will be here again...before you know it!

On a positive note, we are closing on our house Thursday at 1:00 p.m.  After 5 months of waiting...we finally got it!  I'm so very excited!

So, tonight I set here alone...Jeff playing softball....

and Samantha skating.........

It's just me and the dogs....

Very Peaceful and Blessed!

Holley Ann

Letter to my self when I am 50....

Well, my friend Ash wrote a letter to herself about when she was young, so since I'm much older than her, I'm going to write a letter to myself about when I'm 50....Gosh!  That seems so old!

When you turn 50, you are finally at peace with your life. You FINALLY quit sweating the "small" stuff.  Thank God!  You and Jeff are still married and living in Falcon Trace...the first home you guys buy together.  You guys are very happy together and are best friends.  Although you are both not in the shape you were in when you got married...you are still very attracted to each other.

Samantha actually went to college and is now 23 years old.  She is an elementary school teacher.  She loves her job and has decided to teach in Vero Beach.  These Vero Beach people have a hard time leaving this small town!  Although she gives you and Jeff a very hard time through high school...she turned out to be a pretty good girl.  Maybe all those things you tried to teach her worked after all!  Although she doesn't keep the cleanest apartment...she has morals...which is what your biggest fear was all along.  You did a pretty decent job raising a child that was half grown when you came in to her life.  You look back and wish you wouldn't have said some of the things you said....but you can't take it back now.  Overall, things worked out ok in the end.  She has still had no contact with her biological mother...which you think is a really good thing! 

After all those years of trying, you guys finally have a little girl.  Sad thing is, you don't get pregnant until you are 37 years old!  Wow!  That's kind of old!  Your mom and dad think it's a BIG mistake to have kids when you are that old....but Jeff and you really wanted at least one child together.  So when you are 50...yes you have a child that is only 13 years old.  Her name is Skye Brook Driskell and she is a beauty...thanks to her mother...LOL!  She isn't thin...but not fat and has brown curly hair.  She is very athletic and also a cheerleader.  Very popular in school just like her mom and dad.  She is very girly and very high maintenance...not sure where she got that.  She is very spoiled...but she's worth spoiling.  You love her more than you've ever known love before.  You find it very hard to juggle home life with work...but you find it very worthwhile!  You are truly blessed...as you have always been.

You went back to school in August of 2010.  Yes, after you said you were done with school...you go back to pursue your master's degree.  How could you turn it down???  The hospital is paying for it!  When you complete your master's, you are offered a job on days...at the new Tradition Hospital.  You finally are where you want to be...at the top!  It's a hard transition to days...afterall you've worked nights your whole career!  This is a great job and you are very happy with it!  Plus, you are making alot of $$$$!

So, after you tried all those years to find your parents a house in Florida...they finally make a decision to to stay in Texas.  You are heartbroken over this...because all you've ever wanted is to be closer to them.  But, in a way you can't blame them because Texas has alot more to offer than Florida.  Plus, they are very close to Chloe and she needs them more than my kids do.  They decide to stay in Amarillo...because they have great medical care and they really like it there.

Everything you've worked hard for has come your way.  Your life has been easy....not sure why??  Maybe it was all of the prayers.  You are truly blessed!  You feel like you could never re-pay your parents for all of their struggles to put you through college.  Maybe someday!  You look back on your life....and finally say..."I wouldn't change anything!"

So, there it is...short and sweet!  Now, let's see how close I come to guessing what lays ahead!

Holley Ann  

     

Bloggin' Is My Hobby...Whatever that means???

Blogging is my new way to get it all out.  It's very therapeutic...and keeps my hands off of my face.  Thanks to Ash for introducing me to this.  It's like my "little" diary...and only Ash can ready it.  She knows about everything anyway...We are BFF's no secrets!!!

I had an overall nice 4th of July.  We had a great spread of food!  I think we all overate...but isn't that what July 4th is fo r?  We were super busy that night!  Alot going on..but we held down the fort with only 3 people.  Yeah for us!

Now I've had 3 days off.  Yesterday, I packed up the whole house minus our clothes and shoes.  My husband was pissed because he couldn't find anything.  I thought he would be happy he didn't have to pack...WE ARE MOVING NEXT THURSDAY!   I don't think he realizes how much work I did!  Packing is no fun!  Besides, I'm super stressed because we have so much going on next week.  We have to do our walk through on Wednesday, close on Thursday, wedding Friday, work Saturday and Sunday...the my parents and granny will be here on Wednesday.  Also, I have to get the house re-carpeted and cleaned before we even start moving.  I know we will get through all of this, but it's just super stressful.  Especially the $$ we have to bring to the table!  I've never had that much money in hand...kinda scary!

Today, Samantha went for a sleep over with a friend.  Now it's just the dogs and us tonight.  I think we should celebrate with a few cocktails....as always!  I need it for all of this stress!  There's only so much Zoloft can take care of!  LOL!

So that brings me to my next point...What would we do without dogs?  They are the cutest things ever.  They are the best "teddy bears' you can sleep with!  Last night i had Roxy sleeping on her back with her head on my arm...and Lexie sleeping in between my legs.  They are such cuddle bugs!  Roxy snores like crazy...but I find it puts me to sleep.  If only she didn't shed!  Lexie has never shed, so that is such a big deal to me.  It's very hard to keep a nice bed when you've got a dog that sheds like crazy!  Who needs kids when you've got little angels like we have??  I'm happy just the way we are!!

Peace for now!

Holley Ann  

Yeah for me!!!

Yipee!  It's the 4th of July again....and yes you guessed it...I'm working!  Shocking, yes I know.  This is the 3rd year in a row!  So, I'm going to look for something positive to say about working the 4th of July.
1.  You get to set out on the dock and get the best view of the fireworks on the water....while getting eaten up by mosquitos!  Joy!
2.  You get to see all the boats out on the water, which is beautiful!  But, while they are all having cold ones...we are sucking snot and sucking people's blood.  Yeah!
3.  I get to spend my time with friends at the hospital, while my family is having a family get together.  NO, I don't want to spend time with my family...yeah right!

Well, I'm going to stop now....I'm having trouble staying positive about working tonight.  I guess I should be thankful I have a job!  Amen...word to your mother!

 

10 Things I Love...

1.  God...because withouth him..we would have nothing.

2.  My family...because they made me the person I am today.

3.  My husband and daughter...because they complete me.

4.  My wonderful job...because it provided for my family and lets me spend $$$ for the finer things in life.

5.  Traveling...because it lets me leave it all behind...no worries...

6.  Beer...because it helps take the "edge" off.

7.  High Heels...because they are so cute!

8.  Dogs...who are there always and love me unconditionally.

9.  Water...because we can't leave without it!

10.  True friends...because you can tell a true friend anything...and she will listen and not judge you.

***Simple Things...But I Love Them***

Holley Ann!!